• Teacher: Why did you not study?
  • Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day! But that 1 day is your birthday!

sebastianthedog:

one night two parents went out for dinner

a few hours later the baby sitter called and asked if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids room

the dad told her to get out of the house and call the police and that they didnt have a clown statue

when the police got there it turned out they did have a clown statue and the dad had alzheimers 

(via skinnyteentakestestonbbwdonk)

mortson:

neeyo hoy menyoy

(via whydidipullthetriggerboom)

  • romeo: hey i just met you.
  • romeo: and this is crazy.
  • romeo: but i saw you at your dad's party that i wasn't supposed to attend and i thought you were pretty cute so i followed you and we kissed but then your nanny called you away and i found out you were a capulet and got bummed so i sneaked into your back yard in the middle of the night and climbed your balcony uninvited to profess my undying love after an hour even though i wanted to bone rosaline like two scenes ago.
  • romeo: so marry me maybe.